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A play in one act for two lymphocytes

By Wendy Freborg

An indolent lymphoma is a cancer that is present but not growing very quickly. It occurred to me recently that if my indolent B-cell lymphoma were as indolent as I am, I might live forever. Then I wrote this play. Come with me now to my bloodstream, where two lymphocytes are about to call it quits for the day

2B:                  Man, I just couldnít get anything done today.

Not 2B:           I know what you mean. I hardly split once.

2B:                  I really REALLY meant to get down to some serious dividing today. It was just too busy. Some new infectious agent got in. The T-cells were going wild. Sirens, flashing lights. The whole shebang. No way I could concentrate.

Not 2B:           What really bothered me was being called to action over and over again. Donít they realize Iím malignant? I donít do infections any more.

2B:                  Right. It seemed like every time I was getting psyched up to divide, thereíd be an emergency call. ďB cells! B cells! We need more B cells over here.Ē

Not 2B:           I hate that. When you donít go they think you are putting on airs.

2B:                  Itís hard. Sometimes I donít think being assigned to lymphoma duty is much of a promotion.

Not 2B:           I had such high hopes for this lymphoma when we first got started. I thought we could take things over in a year, maybe two.

2B:                  Not at this rate. But tomorrow I am really going to get down to business. Iíve got my To Do list all set up: Divide. Divide. Divide.

Not 2B:           Thatís what your list said yesterday.

2B:                  I know. I got into a political discussion. You know, red blood cells versus white blood cells. I want to think we can trust the red blood cells, but Iím just not sure. Before I knew it, the whole day was down the tubes.

Not 2B:           Well, I would have had a more productive week if it hadnít been for one of my copies hanging around. I said, ďYouíre complete. Go out and divideĒ but this one didnít want to leave. Darned kids. Itís hard to do your job when you have kids to take care of.

2B:                  Some days I am just drained before I even get started.

Not 2B:           I know what you mean. This job is overwhelming. Sometimes I think I expect too much from myself. I am always dreaming of a perfect replica. Thatís what I really want to produce. But the more I think about it, the harder it is to get started splitting.

2B:                  Perfectionism. Itís ruined a lot of artists.

Not 2B:           Well, gotta go rest up for tomorrow.

2B:                  Yeah, Tomorrow I am really going to do some serious splitting.

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