Wanna read the latest from Clever Magazine?
Click here and return to the coverpage!


On forwarding email warnings

By the Phantom

Yipes!
You're scaring me!


I’ve received more than enough of those frantic forwarded emails lately predicting computer gloom and doom, so I know you have too. I thought we internet savvy types had grown out of that phase of silliness. Apparently not.

Some of the scams and more sinister forms of deliberate mischief are still with us so there is definitely a need to be vigilant. But crying wolf and doing Chicken Little imitations are unwarranted. 

There are better ways to handle such situations:

-When you receive an email that warns you of any imminent danger to your computer, check it out before you forward it to everybody on your mailing list.

-When you get that email from Nairobi asking you to participate in a scheme to gain 25 million dollars, delete it.

-When you get that email that asks you to “play this new little game designed especially for you”, don’t open it and delete it at once.

-Buy some software that will continually scan your entire computer for viruses, and update it often.

-Always check the Urban Legends website for any suspicious email offer or warning. And here are a few other links that might be useful:

-Have you received the one about the telephone repairman who calls and says he’s checking your phone service? He asks you to dial 90#. Supposedly, this should give the caller free long distance access using your phone. Well, my friends, that only works if you have to dial 9 for an outside line before making a long distance call at home. It’s sort of silly to forward an email about that because that particular scam doesn’t apply to most home phone systems. However, the scam might work with business phone systems.

-When you do forward emails to everybody you know, please use the BCC function on your email program so that your email list is not accessible to everybody who receives it. It’s a courtesy to your friends.

Please read the following. If you feel like forwarding it as a warning to one thousand of your closest email buddies, this article is for you…

Subject: Bedtimes (an anonymous email)

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes", delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.
-It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
-It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards
-It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and  uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.
-It will program your phone to dial only 900 numbers.
-This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
-IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.
-It will drink ALL your beer.
-FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?
-It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company.
-It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.
-If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. –
-It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

 ******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN******* 
Send to everyone...if you are an idiot, this is a joke.


Find it here!     

Home | Contributors to Clever Magazine | Writers' Guidelines 
The Editor's Page | Humor Archive | About Clever Magazine | Contact Us

No portion of Clever Magazine may be copied or reprinted without express consent of the editor.