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Six Sex Affairs
(We received these from Burton Wolfe's online journal: Wolfe's Lair,
and anybody who wants to subscribe to it should contact Wolfe via his
personal email address:
The 1st Affair
Worried that his wife would
be furious by then, Plotnik hurriedly dressed and told his secretary to
take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt, figuring he
would tell his wife he had car trouble in a rural area and had to fix
the problem himself. After his secretary
returned with his shoes, Plotnik put them on and drove home.
The 2nd Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife became pregnant and, at the hospital, as the couple had hoped, she delivered a healthy baby boy. Told by the pediatric physician who delivered the baby that he and his wife had a boy, and he could see his wife and son now, the joyful father rushed to the room where his wife lay in bed, cuddling her baby. But he was horrified to find himself looking at the ugliest baby he had ever seen.
He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the
father of this ugly baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I
fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my
The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Hymie Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest cock the mortician had ever seen. It was gigantic.
"I'm sorry, Mister Schwartz," the mortician said to the corpse, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an historic body part. It must be saved for posterity." So saying, the mortician cut off Hymie Schwartz's gigantic cock, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
"I have something to show you that you won't believe," the mortician said to his wife upon arriving home, and he opened his briefcase for her to have a look.
"Oh, my god!" his wife exclaimed as she looked into the opened briefcase. "Hymie Schwartz is dead!"
The 4th Affair
A woman was in
bed with her lover when she heard the front door of the house being opened ."Oh, oh," she told her lover,
"my husband is
home. Hurry! Stand in the corner."
Quickly she rubbed baby oil on her lover, then
dusted over the application with talcum powder.
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