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The Spam File

by Dianne K.

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When I am really bored I go through the spam file. There are some great email opportunities that I never have to look at if I don't want to. Interestingly enough, it's mostly scams. Talk about raining on my parade. If I was as gullible as these folks think I am, I could be in serious trouble.

One email purports to be from the FBI. They want me to help them crack the Nigerian spammers’ operation. Here’s the catch, they say that if I help them they will make sure I get my $16 million that the Nigerians owe me. Tempting, right? I just have to send some personal information to “Agent John” and he’ll take care of things for me.

I have won the UK lottery again!

The National Australian Bank wants to credit my bank account with $100 for taking a simple survey.

Fedex is holding up an important package. All I need to do is download a simple .exe file in order to expedite delivery. I think this one causes a lot of people more trouble than they want in their lives. That's worse than spam, that .exe file contains a virus. Arrgh.

The deadline for the Big Moose writers competition is coming up. Send in $25 and a manuscript. Do I want to win a big moose? I don’t think so. I don’t even want a small moose. Those hapless writers don't realize that the competition is just to see how many checks come in. Don't bother to send the manuscript, just send the check. Nobody ever wins!

An internet marketer wants me to sign up for their service so I can send spam without interference from the FCC. Sigh.

Somebody in Canada has stolen the Nigerian scam. I guess they think that “Canada” means honesty. I will receive several million Loonies if I act as a go between for some really big money transactions. Uh-huh.

Would I be interested in talking “Live Chat” with some hot Russian women? I think not.

Would I be interested in buying: a litter box, pet treats, sex aids, diet aids, hearing aids, sleep aids, an MBA, Irina or Natasha, my choice, free dollars for online casinos, cheap smokes, nasty sex, Canadian drugs, and many offers in languages I cannot read.

And that was just last week!

Some poor saps “out there” must be falling for these scams. Otherwise, they would quit sending out these emails, right? What everybody needs to sign up for is a large dose of skepticism. I have some extra on hand, just send me $25 and skepticism can be yours by return mail.

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